Selena Gomez has revealed she is unlikely to be able to carry her own children due to the medication she is taking to manage her bipolar disorder.
‘That’s a very big, big, present thing in my life,’ she told Rolling Stone in a wide-ranging, raw interview ahead of the release of her new documentary My Mind and Me.
However, the actress believes ‘however I’m meant to have them, I will.’
Selena, 30, said the painful realization weighed on her after she visited a friend who was attempting to start her own family. After their get-together, she broke down into tears in her car.
Taking certain bipolar medications during pregnancy poses ‘an increased risk of birth defects in the first trimester’, according to WebMD.
The potential defects include neural tube defects, heart defects, and developmental delay or neurobehavioral problems.
Selena laid bare her mental health struggles in a wide-ranging interview done with Rolling Stone.
The actress revealed she contemplated taking her own life for several years after battling psychosis, which lead to her being diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
‘I thought the world would be better if I wasn’t there,’ she told the publication, noting she had never attempted suicide.
Selena revealed she had been to four treatment centers amid her mental health battle.
At times, she felt convinced she needed to purchase a new car for everyone she knew – a symptom of mania.
‘I have a gift and I wanted to share it with people,’ she told the publication of her thought process at the time.
In describing her lows, Selena said she sometimes spent weeks in bed.
‘It would start with depression, then it would go into isolation,’ she said.
‘Then it just was me not being able to move from my bed. I didn’t want anyone to talk to me. My friends would bring me food because they love me, but none of us knew what it was.
Sometimes it was weeks I’d be in bed, to where even walking downstairs would get me out of breath.’
Selena thinks several factors led to her anguish, including her career, her health, and not reaching certain life goals she had set out for herself as a young girl.
‘I grew up thinking I would be married at 25,’ she told Rolling Stone. ‘It wrecked me that I was nowhere near that — couldn’t be farther from it. It was so stupid, but I really thought my world was over.’
She also struggled to vocalize her issues with friends who weren’t famous, and admitted to feeling like an outsider amongst the cool celebrities.
‘I never fit in with a cool group of girls that were celebrities. My only friend in the industry really is Taylor [Swift], so I remember feeling like I didn’t belong. I felt the presence of everyone around me living full lives. I had this position, and I was really happy, but … was I? Do these materialistic things make me happy?’ she said.
